Its five in the morning, my mind is going a million miles a minute and won't let me sleep till I write these thoughts down! I woke up in a panic with the answer to why I do not like blogs. Yes, very important thing! It all stems from how I was raised, being from a Japanese but not Japanese family meaning our core beliefs are definitely Buddhist yet my parents have modified and adapted to American ways. My father, who I admire and idolize, is a man of few words, he is more of an observer. Which is how I am too, but it makes me one heck of a bad emotional communicator, I often internalize my feelings (unhealthy, I know) and I also don't say what I want to say when I want to say it, which sucks! So, this is my "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" light tunnel moment.
Another thing I lay here thinking about is how I am trying to feel really connected to my body, trying to visualize nerve impulses firing to my fingertips as I type this message. I want everyone to try it because we take little things for granted, like wiggling our toes! I imagine Ryan's lower body being like a rusty choo choo train, that needs to just get moving and once it starts moving, everything else will smooth out, however fast it doesn't matter it is moving!
One more thing, I "chatted" with my best friend Jenson today for maybe 2 minutes on Facebook, and it made me extremely happy on the inside, I was smiling at dinner and chuckled out loud, but it was just something silly we had done together...we will never lose that connection, however far apart we are, and knowing that, made me happiest the mostest!
Take a deep breathe....hold....hold...wait for it.....relaaaaaaaaaaaax!
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